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Always look on the bright side of collapse

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So what did you think of 2008? Pretty interesting, huh?

Not interesting in the sense of “exciting” or “enjoyable.” “Exciting” is usually good, as long as no shrapnel is involved. “Enjoyable” is self-explanatory. But sometimes “interesting” perfectly describes a thing that needs to be covered with a tarp and hauled immediately to the landfill.

Speaking of TARP, this was a year when the economy overshadowed everything else. The political show was memorable, for sure. But then we ran into some money problems, which is going to happen when a nation gets to be more than 200 years old – some days, kindly Uncle Sam seems a little disoriented.

So we tried flinging cash at our troubles, cutting interest rates and bailing people out. Sometimes we bailed out people who were just strolling down the sidewalk, minding their own business; sometimes we made would-be bailees do a little dance first, and some push-ups.

In short, our focus wandered. When a generation is raised on Warner Bros. cartoons and three-minute pop songs and then assumes control of government, this is what you get.

Now the agony has dragged on for so long that many folks have given up on the time-honored method for handling hard times – a few minutes with Andy Rooney – and decided that all you need is confidence. All we need is confidence, confidence. Confidence is all we need. And so they urge the media to stop reporting so much negative news.

Maybe they’re right. Maybe it’s time to cross over to the bright side.

So thank goodness that, according to The Wall Street Journal, Peter Kraus will get paid for his work. He joined Merrill Lynch & Co. Inc. in September; in December, Bank of America Corp., giddy after receiving a $25 billion gift basket from the federal government, got approval to take over Merrill. One result: Kraus’ contract says he gets as much as $25 million for two months of clock-punching. This should be an inspiration to business-school students everywhere.

Also excellent news: Banks that have received truckloads of government money are declining to say how they’re spending it. But you, the individual taxpayer, never know exactly how your money is being spent, whether you’re buying some wiring for a cruise missile or funding university research on parallel parking. To provide more information in this case would be breaking a tradition. A good, old-fashioned American tradition.

I think it’s fantastic that housing prices are expected to drop another 25 percent in Los Angeles. With bargains like that coming onto the market, a shrewd buyer should take the opportunity to borrow as much as possible and buy two or three homes just for investment purposes. What could go wrong?

And hooray for General Motors Corp. and Chrysler LLC, two vital American companies that probably will take their bailout billions and turn their fortunes around by March. Maybe they can convert a few factories to produce sturdy metal “In Foreclosure” signs. Now there’s a briskly growing market.

Step away from national economics, and you find even more positive things to consider. For example, we’re lucky to live in a state of weather extremes, which create many lucrative business opportunities. Floods? Prime time for sump pump sales. Ice storms? Order more portable generators. Tornadoes? Thank God for plywood.

And in the field of sports, which is a branch of economics now, I’m glad that Gene Chizik was able to finish rebuilding the football program at my alma mater in only two seasons. His definition of “rebuilt” may be unconventional, but it’s wrong to impose one’s standards on others. Some coaches want a national championship; others dream of leading a team to 10 losses in a row. Mission accomplished.

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