Dear Mr. Berko:

E.H., Syracuse, N.Y.

Dear E.H.:

How sad that your professional is such a schlemiel, but in every field there are lousy, average, better than average and darned good professionals. Your first clue to this bonehead’s portfolio skills was his purchase of the 20 high-load mutual funds that make up 100 percent of your portfolio. This guy is a failure going somewhere to happen, and before he skunks other investors, he should be required to work the night shift at the Mud Lake (Mississippi) roach paste factory.

I will not recommend individual issues for your $520,000. I don’t have the time, and I do not have the personal and financial information necessary to design a portfolio to meet your short-, medium- and long-term goals. But I’ll recommend seven investment sectors that, if you can select the right issues, should generate an above-average long-term total return.

Using about 14 percent of your funds, select 10 dividend growth stocks from Standard and Poor’s roster of “dividend aristocrats.” This is a compendium of high-class companies that have increased their dividends for at least 25 consecutive years. Reinvest all dividends.

Then invest 14 percent in the SPDR Dow Jones Industrials (DIA-$131.93). This is an exchange-traded fund that corresponds to the price and yield of the 30 stocks in the Dow Jones industrial average. Reinvest the 2.34 percent dividend.

Then place 14 percent in a selection of “high-yield convertible bonds/preferred and deep-discount corporates.” You need to keep an eye out for these and pay close attention to my column. In recent weeks, I recommended several attractive high-yield convertibles that have performed quite well. At least a half-dozen times a year, I’ll recommend convertibles or deep-discount bonds that look attractive.

Next select a dozen or so “oil and gas pipeline issues.” Merrill Lynch and several other brokerages publish a comprehensive list, many of which yield in excess of 6 percent and most of which increase their dividends annually. Reinvest all dividends.

Then invest 14 percent of the money in the “tobacco, food and restaurant group.” A few no-brainers are PepsiCo, Yum Brands, Heinz, Kellogg, Clorox, Campbell Soup, Philip Morris, etc. A few of these are included in the DIA, but their long-term promise argues well in favor of additional shares.

Put 10 percent in a selection of “growth utilities”: telephone, gas, electric and water. Of course, AT&T as well as Verizon must be included in this mix. Reinvest all dividends.

Finally, place 20 percent in a variable annuity with a 5.5 percent guaranteed return. Think of this as a guaranteed 5.5 percent bond in which you can reinvest the dividends.

Then be patient and let those investments work their compounding magic. At age 67, $100,000 is guaranteed to have grown to $260,000, providing a minimum annual $15,000 income stream.

Finally, you must not depend upon Social Security, which will soon become means-tested. Congress wants to reduce payments to those whose assets or incomes exceed a threshold amount.

Some observers believe Congress may pass legislation permitting the Social Security Administration to reduce monthly checks by 2019, plus reducing some Medicare benefits.