Guest opinion: The power of an ask

By Blair Ryan | Co-founder, Standard Manner
Not asking guarantees the answer will be “no.” If you don’t ask for a charitable contribution for a nonprofit you support, you won’t get it. If you don’t ask for a raise, you might be waiting for one forever. If you don’t ask for change, it won’t happen.
Asking for something you’d like isn’t always easy and it isn’t about being big, bad and bold. Asking is an art and one that if better understood could lead to endless possibilities. I want to note that I believe people give to people, so start by establishing a connection and building a relationship prior to making an ask.
Here are three key aspects to an honest ask:
First, humble yourself. Entitlement and a brazen attitude have no place in an ask. It leaves people with a sour taste in their mouth, makes a person appear “holier than thou” and instantly puts a dent in your reputation. Approach any ask with genuine kindness, truth and proof; always have facts to back up what you are asking for. You want a raise? Explain what you did to deserve it. Gearing up to ask a donor for a large gift? Explain how immensely their gifts have helped in the past and what this gift could do for the people your nonprofit serves. Show them why your ask makes sense and help them see how they can assist.
Second, don’t tiptoe around the ask. Show confidence and be direct. Avoid “ums” and “buts,” make eye contact, and again, be prepared with facts. Be clear about what you are asking for. Don’t backtrack.
Third, wait. Silence can be painful but after you have asked, wait. Don’t jump in and start adding more remarks, just wait. You will get an answer eventually, and hopefully it will be a “yes.”
Remember, the worst answer you can get is a “no” and you will always get that answer if you never ask.
Blair Ryan is donor relations manager for HCI Care Services & Visiting Nurses Services of Iowa and co-founder of the Standard Manner Etiquette and Communications Consulting. As a proud Des Moines native, she knows this city will always be her home and is committed to making it an even brighter place to live. Ryan can be reached at blair.estelle.ryan@gmail.com.