Now it’s that magical time of the year when we drop enough cash to keep our economy going for another 12 months.

You’ll find plenty of tips on how to go about it. Experts such as Yahoo! Shopping Editor Jon Ann Steinmetz will tell you:

1. Make a plan. “Make a list of the gifts you need to purchase, then determine the order of stores you will shop.”

2. Be an early bird: “Determine your arrival time based on how badly you want the product and how good the deal is.”

3. Foster teamwork: “Bring a friend or assemble an entire shopping team and give each member specific assignments.”

4. Check your equipment: “Comfortable shoes and loose-fitting clothing are a must. Charge your cell phone. Check with your bank or credit card company to ensure your account is up to date.”

Let’s hope Steinmetz doesn’t take this the wrong way, but it should be pointed out that she’s obviously insane. This is the kind of detailed, fun-crushing planning that you need if you’re going to invade a foreign country, perhaps, but it’s no way to shop. Not for all of us, anyway.

We’ve moved beyond stereotyping in this great country of ours, but some studies do indicate that one gender appears to spend somewhat more time shopping than does the other, even though it’s a fine gender that probably should be running the world. In between trips to the mall, that is.

If you’re technically not part of that gender, it’s a little more challenging to enjoy this wonderfully festive season of pure materialism. You want to take part in this charming American tradition, but maybe you figure 20 minutes per year is plenty.

If that sounds like you, try these tips:

1. Seek out exciting gift ideas. People in movies tend to own lots of neat stuff, so it might be useful to start your day at the mall by going to the theater. And if the kids running the place aren’t paying attention — which they aren’t — when one movie ends, sneak into another. It never pays to skimp on research.

2. Tap into your emotions. Sure, you could visit a jewelry store, spend lots of hard-earned money that really would have come in handy the next time you get laid off, and “buy” an “object” for your loved one. But where’s the sentiment in that? It would be so much more meaningful to make a videotape of yourself saying “I love you” or “Hey, baby, how’s it going?” She will never forget this.

3. Change the scenery. Every December you follow the same routine, which inevitably leads to buying a bag of socks. You need something to trigger an avalanche of fresh impulses. Vodka is good for this, or a fistfight over a parking space.

4. Wander through stores aimlessly. The greatest achievements were not charted out in agonizing detail in advance, as Steinmetz would have you believe. OK, figuring out how to land on the moon took several committee meetings, and the glory of the Sistine Chapel followed a fierce argument at the paint store over the difference between “driftwood” and “alabaster.” But so many of the truly awe-inspiring accomplishments — a newspaper column, for example — are clearly the result of just totally winging it.

5. Don’t think “thing,” think “experience.” Wouldn’t your loved one be delighted by a long walk on a winter’s evening, just the two of you? No television, no phone. No heat. Not that much to talk about, really … hey, maybe a walk back to the theater would be good. You could start researching for next year.