I recently caught up with an old friend who spent years as a therapist, and before long we were deep in a conversation about resilience. She shared something that immediately caught my attention. Some of her clients had lived through profound trauma and still found ways to move forward and grow, which sometimes surprised even her. Others, whose lives appeared far less difficult, felt overwhelmed by everyday stress and were unable to cope with what seemed like manageable challenges. She leaned in and asked, “What do you think actually makes someone resilient?” We pondered that question for a while, turning it over from different angles and wondering whether resilience is something we are born with, something we learn through experience, or some mix of both. 

That question feels especially relevant when we look at leadership today. 

New research from Gallup’s 2026 State of the Global Workplace highlighted in an article called “Leaders Have Better Lives but Worse Days,” offers a useful lens into this question. Leaders (defined in the study as “managers of managers”) are more likely to say they are engaged at work and thriving in their overall lives, yet they also report higher levels of stress, anger, sadness and loneliness than the people they lead. This creates a split experience where leaders can feel successful in a broad sense while still having more difficult day to day emotional realities. The responsibility of leading others adds pressure that does not always show up in traditional measures of success.

We could call the kind of resilience required here “adaptive resilience,” a term that reflects what new research is starting to show. Resilience is not fixed, a phenomenon my therapist buddy and I had observed over the years. In our experiences, what made a person resilient or adaptable depended on many factors. The Gallup study found that resilience shifts based on context, relationships and the demands placed on a person. Leadership is one of the clearest examples of this. The role brings opportunity and meaning, but it also brings a level of strain that is easy to underestimate from the outside.

That strain is intensified by how work itself has changed. The pace of change is faster, expectations are higher and technology keeps leaders constantly connected. Many leaders are always “on,” juggling competing priorities while trying to stay present for their teams. In this environment, adaptive resilience grows through connection to purpose and to other people. It is supported by engagement, clarity and a sense of belonging.

At the same time, leadership is falling short for many employees. A 2026 study from The Grossman Group found that 54% of leaders fall into a category labeled “good,” yet this level of leadership often produces “anxiety, complacency, and a slow erosion of trust.” Only a small share of leaders are seen as exceptional. The gap shows up in how people feel. Many employees do not feel heard, valued or supported. As Grossman explains, “Good leaders … have critical blind spots we don’t know about.” Those blind spots can weaken trust and make workplaces more stressful for everyone.

There is also a less talked-about reality shaping resilience at the top. Many leaders deal with burnout, isolation and mental health challenges that go unspoken. Research shows that a significant number of executives experience symptoms of depression and loneliness. In an article from Mass General’s McLean Hospital titled “The Silent Strain at the Top,” Dr. Amy Gagliardi points out that “there’s a deeply ingrained mindset that equates vulnerability with weakness,” which makes it harder for leaders to seek help. When leaders feel they have to carry everything alone, their resilience becomes harder to sustain.

All of this brings me back to that conversation with my friend and her observation that some people seem able to withstand so much, while others struggle under far less. Her question still lingers: What actually makes someone resilient?

What both the research and real experience point to is something more hopeful than the idea that resilience is something you either have or do not. It takes shape over time through experience, reflection and connection. Leadership intensifies that process, putting it under constant pressure while also creating opportunities to strengthen it. The leaders who navigate it best stay grounded in a clear sense of purpose, invest in real relationships and recognize when they need support. 

Maybe the better question is how someone can actually build resilience over time. The encouraging part is that it is within reach. You can strengthen your ability to cope with challenges and stress by prioritizing what matters most, focusing on relationships that support you and giving yourself permission to ask for help when you need it. 

Resilience grows in those small, consistent choices. It is something you can work on, day by day, as you keep showing up and moving forward. ν

Suzanna de Baca is a columnist for Business Record, CEO of Story Board Advisors and former CEO of BPC. Story Board Advisors provides strategic guidance and coaching for CEOs, boards of directors and family businesses. You can reach Suzanna at sdebaca@storyboardadvisors.com and follow her writing on leadership at: https://suzannadebacacoach.substack.com.