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Des Moines does not suffer from a lack of contentious topics. I believe that a community, and a nation, grow stronger by addressing the issues closest to our hearts. It’s how we address them that really matters.

Since I joined the Community Foundation of Greater Des Moines in 2008 as president, our board and staff have been discussing the topic of social capital. Social capital refers to the value of all social networks and the inclinations that rise from these networks to do things for one another. Although social capital has several central elements, none is more important than civility.

Civility goes beyond courteous behavior and politeness to the ability to debate issues in a way that is honest and thoughtful to determine the best solutions. By thoughtful, I mean not only intelligent, but respectful. There will always be differences of opinion and issues that require careful discernment. Sometimes our fundamental belief systems won’t allow us to agree on the outcome, but by respecting our differences and one another, we build the trust that makes our community stronger.

I personally know that even the smallest gesture of good will and civility can make a huge difference. From my mother to coaches, volunteers, church members and community leaders, I have benefited from the kindness and support of others, even when I didn’t deserve it! By taking the first step and embracing the chance to resolve our differences with humility and respect, we all can make a difference.

Des Moines is not alone in working to find the best way to discuss hot topics. Other community foundations around the nation have adopted the “Speak Your Peace: The Civility Project” model, which has aided greatly in their quest for civility. Key messages the project promotes include paying attention, listening, being inclusive, refraining from gossip, showing respect, seeking common ground, repairing damaged relationships, using constructive language and taking responsibility.

Closer to home, through the Character Counts! in Iowa initiative, our schools and local businesses are welcoming the principles of trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and citizenship to build the foundation for civility. We have the resources available; now it’s time to act.

I encourage all citizens in Greater Des Moines to look for the common ground that will help us resolve the challenges we face with civility. Once we find it, we can achieve more than we ever thought possible. Success truly is a team effort.