The reception is under way. Guests are chatting and enjoying themselves. Everything is going swimmingly. Word comes that the guest of honor has arrived. In he strides in black tie and tails, his entourage trailing. He is announced. Everyone applauds. He offers a short greeting of thanks recognizing the host and hostess. Perfect. Then it becomes clear that his fly is down. Who is going to tell him?

The higher people rank in an organization, the less likely they are to hear substantive, direct feedback. Two things happen: They are less likely to ask, and when they do, the response is very likely to be muted or sweetened. Why? Because no one wants to be the bearer of bad news and, consequently, in the line of fire. They think that if they say anything less than complimentary about their leader, it will damage their career prospects.

The byproduct of this ubiquitous lack of spine is a perpetuation of leaders’ overinflated sense of infallibility. They begin to believe that if they stay with it, the world will indeed revolve around them at some point. The dangers are clear. Leaders feel untouchable and make decisions and lead companies into uncharted and sometimes illegal waters. Combine lack of candor with groupthink and you have a company fabricating its returns, cooking its books and playing the customer for a fool.

Pertinent to leaders is the more common challenge of getting valid, substantive feedback about performance beyond what financial statements render. Sure, in the case of our intrepid guest of honor with the errant fly, it would fall to the host or hostess to discreetly indicate it. But in the more mundane processions of everyday office life, we lack a refined, capable host to whom we are willing to defer, and who is willing and interested in volunteering information to us that, though uncomfortable to hear, is to our advantage.

Familiarity breeds contempt, as the old saying goes, and the last thing a leader wants is to be contemptible. Therefore, consciously or not, leaders tend to keep others, especially subordinates, at a distance. The distance they create produces an obstacle that exacerbates hierarchical barriers. Those barriers impede and often preclude the open sharing of observations about relationships and influence. The lack of sharing further embeds a dearth of familiarity.

Asking for feedback is unnatural. It invites critique. It makes one feel vulnerable and sheds light on areas we might prefer remain obscured. It can shake up a perfectly routine world. Paradoxically, a leader who chooses to be transparent and risks being vulnerable to scrutiny sends a message of strength that far exceeds the impression left by those who choose to fabricate their persona through control and distance.

It is the leader’s responsibility and opportunity to invite feedback. The gesture is powerful, and every now and then you might learn your fly is down.

Ben C. Ochs improves productivity in companies through their leaders. He can be reached at bochs@palmeau.com.