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CMS curve is a pitch you shouldn’t swing at

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Dear Mr. Berko:

I have $435,000 in cash and need more income. I want to be conservative but can handle moderate risks. I have two choices. A Morgan Stanley representative has aggressively suggested a complex but high-paying CMS curve and a CMS non-invasion note. He says these can pay as much as l8 percent and are safe. But I don’t understand them even though they sound good. My other choice is to put all of this money into Treasuries – 50 percent in 10-year and 50 percent in 30-year. Or maybe I can go 50 percent in the Morgan Stanley curves and 50 percent in Treasuries. Please help me make a decision.

W.C., Kankakee, Ill.

Dear W.C.:

A CMS (constant maturity swaps) curve security is one of the most toxic, evil concepts ever poured from the colostomy bags at Morgan Stanley and other Wall Street banks. They’re designed by psychopaths, deviants, pedophiles and lawyers to make money for the issuers, not mooks like you who buy them.

Morgan Stanley’s CMS curve security has a fixed 10 percent rate for two years. But get this from the prospectus: “(T)he yield for the next l3 years is five times the difference between the long- and short-term swap rates, not to exceed 18 percent annually, earned when the Standard & Poor’s 500 stock index doesn’t dip below 875.”

Got it? Good!

But Morgan Stanley’s constant maturity swaps curve non-inversion notes take the cupcake. And I quote: “Coupon payments are based on the number of days during the interest payment period when the CMS Curve is upward sloping. Investors would receive a coupon above current prevailing market rates if these trends continue and the yield curve remains upsloping. CMS Curve Non-Inversion Notes are created through the reverse inquiry process … to meet demand for non-standard debt securities.”

I’ve been in this business since 1958 and have never seen such unadulterated sewage. These products have no redeeming value except to create profits for their issuer. If that broker solicits you again, call 9-1-1.

I realize that you need more income, but I hope you realize that this CMS junk is only suitable for union officials, congressmen and lobbyists. I have no questions about the safety of U.S. Treasury bonds, but don’t invest your $435,000 in a combination of 10-year (2.3 percent) and 30-year (3.7 percent) Treasuries. As certain as I am that chickens don’t quack, I’m as certain that within the coming few years, interest rates and inflation will dam your buying power and corrupt the principal value of those bonds.

Consider investing 15 percent of your money in several floating rate income funds that were recommended months ago and earn about 4 percent. Then, invest 15 percent in some of the master limited partnerships and business development companies that were recommended in earlier columns and earn 7 percent or more. Invest about 10 percent in some deep-discount high-yield bonds, which yield about 10 percent, and put 10 percent in some broken convertible bonds, which should yield between 8 percent and 10 percent.

Keep the remainder in the Marshall & Ilsley Bank money market fund, which yields 1.75 percent, and wait.

Please address your financial questions to Malcolm Berko, P.O. Box 1416, Boca Raton, Fla. 33429 or e-mail him at malber@adelphia.net. ©2010 Creators.com