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Feedback is an interesting topic for a variety of reasons. I believe feedback is incredibly important when it comes to shaping your staff into your A team.

I love what former Dallas Cowboys coach Tom Landry once said: “A coach makes people do what they don’t want to do to become what they want to be.” Though I am not a fan of the Cowboys, I have always been a fan of Tom Landry, and that quotation contains some of the best simple wisdom ever dispensed.

In most companies, I have noticed there is a philosophy along the lines of “feedback is a gift,” which is usually said right before they criticize you. Or they may say, “I have some constructive criticism I would like to share with you.” Who’s kidding whom? Criticism is still criticism.

What I find interesting is that although a lot of corporate training goes into teaching managers how to give feedback, there is very little training for employees on how to receive and act on that same feedback.

Here is where the disconnect lies. Most people don’t want feedback, especially since the majority of it is negative. So even though I might need to know I am doing something wrong, and I truly want to do my job accurately, that doesn’t mean I am going to receive your feedback and act on it. Why? Because if all you have done is sat me down, talked to me and then got up and walked away, I am probably not going to do a whole lot about it. For those of you wondering why you have repetitive bad behaviors in the workplace after giving feedback numerous times, this could be the reason.

The best solution is a feedback system that is continuous and alternates between positive and negative. If all I ever hear is negative feedback, I won’t have much of a bond with my manager, nor am I going to think my manager cares about my career progression. If it is balanced, I buy into the process and can form a connection with my manager, thus making me emotionally invested.

Another important piece I talked about earlier is training employees to receive negative feedback. By training, I mean teaching them the philosophy of the company and department on why you give feedback and what comes with it. What should come along are action plans that employees can execute – and then positive feedback for their improvement.

We have all been there; we get feedback we don’t like and are immediately defensive. It is that defensiveness that keeps us from learning and making positive change. If feedback is approached correctly, with the right attitude and concern for the employee, I believe the employee will gladly receive it. Choose words wisely and remember timing and location are everything. If asking employees to come into your office makes them immediately fearful, talk to them somewhere else.

By making continuous feedback a habit, you just may become the coach you think you are.