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Last week was Iowa Private College Week, that special time of the year when parents and children roam from campus to campus, meeting the faculty and inspecting the facilities before finally making a decision based on which place books the coolest bands.

It wasn’t easy. At Simpson College on Monday, the temperature and humidity nearly reached the point on the heat index where school spirit melts. I’ve never observed this, but theoretically it can get so bad that an admissions counselor will actually stop smiling and say: “You know, these schools are all pretty much the same. Just pick one already.”

At the end of that tour, worn down by the elements, my daughter accepted an ice cream treat. Now I’m wondering if that means we’ve already committed ourselves to four years in Indianola. But we forged ahead.

At Grinnell College on Tuesday, we really had to watch our step because of the various construction projects that are under way. And, of course, you always have to be alert there in case one of the school’s towering stacks of spare cash should topple over. When this happens, sirens sound, deans abandon their computer solitaire games to watch and students scurry out of the way, their flip-flops sounding like a percussion section falling off a stage. It’s quite a spectacle.

Everyone knows that Grinnell College is a rare place, but its liberal character really struck me when our dorm tour guide started talking about coed bathrooms. This is an option. But then, so is living on the African veldt with Cape buffaloes.

The concept is put to a vote on those floors that are shared by men and women, and fortunately you only need one “no” vote to quash it. But the young lady assured us that students often vote unanimously in favor of it.

Keep the mystique alive for as long as humanly possible, is what I wanted to teach her. Bathrooms are where you gradually learn what’s not quite so charming about the opposite sex.

We rounded out the tour with Drake University on Wednesday, where a staff member made the mistake of inviting the tour guides to share their favorite memory of first-year dorm life. An alarming number of these cherished moments seemed to involve a trip to an emergency room. Maybe we should look into colleges that mail instructional DVDs to your home.

As you walk around the campuses, reading the names on the buildings, you realize how much these schools depend on the generosity of successful Iowa families. At Simpson, you see names such as Hubbell and Blank. At Grinnell, it’s Rosenfield and Chrystal. At Drake, you find Knapp and Cowles and Hubbell again.

Then you see the sticker price for a year of room, board and tuition, and you think, “Jeez, can’t the rich people pony up a little more?”

As you listen to faculty members, you’re excited to realize that there are, indeed, people among us who devote their lives to pure knowledge and ideas. No offense to the rest of us, but there has to be more to life than watching “American Idol” and scouting for the lowest price on gasoline.

I enjoyed hearing from three college presidents in one week: John Byrd at Simpson, Russell Osgood at Grinnell and David Maxwell at Drake. These are admirable fellows, and they offered good thoughts about the college experience.

I can’t compete with them on that. All I learned in college is that a high-pressure weather system rotates clockwise, which you can remember because clocks are always placed high on walls.

No, my responsibility is to ladle out advice about life after college, which, with any luck, takes up a fair chunk of your existence.

Here it is: If you should ever start a family and buy a house, pick a location near an elementary school and a home improvement center.

I think that about covers it.