Gov. Chet Culver is down to one option: get the Iowa Constitution changed so the governor’s race is decided by arm wrestling.

Barring that, his immediate political future looks dim, which is unfortunate for him, because this might be a great time to win. The U.S. economy should bob to the surface sometime in the next four years, assuming that the next terrorist attack isn’t too spectacular – reports suggest that a few al-Qaeda leaders hope to strike soon, but the others want to call the whole thing off and focus on their fantasy cricket league – and the people in the top jobs will get the credit.

By way of contrast, winning in 2006 was like bidding at a friend’s auction just to bump up the price, and then you accidentally win and go home with a moose head. The job of being Iowa’s governor didn’t look that unpleasant back then, but things went downhill.

Oh, it wasn’t so bad when his film office got bamboozled by Hollywood, because at least we got to keep a pillowcase once used by Adrien Brody. But gradually, Culver acquired the air of a guy who was named CEO even though he originally applied to be a clerk.

Sometimes he failed to show up for events. Sometimes he showed up and seemed to think he was going to be in the audience, possibly near the buffet table, rather than up front, speaking.

Other problems were beyond his control. Floods, tornadoes, more floods – a leader can be good at public speaking and private arm-twisting, but too much low barometric pressure, and you’re looking for work.

The biggest problem of all is easy to spot. When there’s not enough money to go around, the leader is never popular. For example, Herbert Hoover was one of the more beloved and respected people on the planet until the Great Depression doomed him to defeat. Fortunately, Hoover was able to accept his fate with dignity, although he spent his later years drawing mustaches on photographs of Franklin Roosevelt.

Culver’s loss of popularity is largely due to the Great Recession, and now, according to the polls, he’s destined to be trounced by Republican Terry Branstad, who already has a mustache. How close will it be? Imagine the University of Alabama football team vs. CAL of Latimer. If it’s raining, Republicans with great hairdos or really nice suits might not even bother to vote, and that’s a large chunk of the party. Unfortunately for Culver, Republican farmers will show up no matter what, voting against big government on their way to sign up for the 2011 subsidies.

Still, there’s no quitting in politics – not unless you’re the governor of Alaska – and so the battle continues. Culver’s campaign staff is pulling out all of the stops, as you can tell by the TV commercial showing the governor with his children. I don’t think anyone is questioning whether his kids like him, but it’s a little late for that.

If we were determined to elect candidates who are nice to youngsters, we would have voted Mister Rogers into the White House at some point, which would have changed everything. Think of the hours President Obama would waste switching to slippers and a cardigan sweater every time he goes upstairs.

Culver will have his moments; he recently chalked up an endorsement from the National Rifle Association. But Branstad countered with an endorsement from Iowa Gun Owners. By the way, this suggests another option for deciding elections, and the Libertarian Party probably would be glad to chip in for the ammunition.

As for the issues, the focus will stay on who can create the most jobs without a bill requiring construction workers to replace backhoes with teaspoons.

As for the eventual winner, he’s rested, ready, and this time he knows how to get his way with the secrets of osteopathy.