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Jeffrey: In your presentation, you said if you can’t build rapport, don’t start. I deal with attorneys. What is your recommendation if a prospect just won’t build rapport?

– Kevin

Kevin: If attorney prospects “just won’t build rapport,” it’s because you haven’t asked them the right rapport-building questions. Ask about the toughest case they’ve ever had, or the reason they chose to get into law, or the most rewarding part about their career. I’ve never met anyone who won’t spend a minute or two talking about themselves.

Many salespeople make fatal mistakes trying to establish rapport around “things” – the weather, the ballgame, the economy or the news. That’s not rapport; that’s idle chatter. Real rapport has an emotional base to it. And it comes from the prospect’s personal experience, personal opinion and personal wisdom. The key to earning rapport is keeping it light and keeping it positive. There’s a secret of rapport, and the secret is “the link” – finding things in common that you both know about and like. The easiest example is having children who are the same age, or having gone to the same college. These are both things you can talk about with a smile, and then move on to business.

Professional people tend to be self-indulgent people. When you walk into their offices, their statues, trophies and educational achievements are always in plain view. As are pictures of their family. Whenever I go into an office, I take a moment to look at educational achievements, other awards and family photos. Whatever it is that I’m looking at, I try to ask a question that will elicit personal information, personal history or some type of positive emotional response.

That was Kevin’s issue. How’s your rapport-building going? Do you understand that rapport is the gateway to an agreement? Do you understand that rapport is the insight you gain about the people you’re trying to build a relationship with, and that you should give them a little insight about you in return? Do you understand that rapport is NOT qualifying the customers; it’s engaging them personally and intellectually? Do you understand that rapport is a time when the customers are qualifying you?

Here is some additional insight into the rapport-building process:

• Rapport is delicate, and must be professionally understood before you can be personally engaging.

• Rapport is exchanging information of personal value.

• Rapport is gaining insight into the person and his or her personality.

• Rapport is gaining an understanding of the other person.

• Rapport is the ability to begin the engagement process.

• Rapport is a learning time about them, not a bragging time about you.

• Rapport is asking – then creating dialogue around the answer.

• Rapport is permission to smile, even laugh, without doing so at someone’s expense.

• Rapport is your opportunity to establish yourself as someone they would like to know better, and maybe even do business with.

During the brief time you ask questions and exchange dialogue, you may find the LINK. Something you both like and know about. The moment the link is realized, rapport deepens.

Once you have built some personal rapport, it’s time to segue to business rapport. Start with a career question and then say something about your business career.

When I finally segue to the business at hand, I get right to the point.

Some people tell me that trying to build rapport is awkward. Awkward is not a problem; it’s a symptom. The problem is a total lack of preparation by the salesperson – that would be you.

Jeffrey Gitomer can be reached by phone at (704) 333-1112 or by e-mail at salesman@gitomer.com. © 2009 Jeffrey H. Gitomer