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I see by my e-mail that

Angelina Jolie is naked again.

This is the 11th time today that this woman has been reported in the buff, and I’m starting to worry. Is it just uncomfortably warm where she lives, or is she strapped for cash? I’m jotting a reminder right now to send her some of my old shirts.

Obviously, those aren’t the only e-mails received during a busy workday. Messages also arrived about Lindsay Lohan being dead, Heath Ledger being alive and Rolex watches being available. Good to know.

Yes, I’d be lost without the Internet.

We really should stand back once in a while – and maybe a little to the side, in case of kickback – and marvel at the amazing progress we’ve made in the field of communication.

The Internet began modestly as a system of computer connections among a few universities. (Al Gore did not claim to have invented it, as is so often reported. Although he does claim to have invented time travel and a little thing that holds business cards.) Top-level academics used this world-changing innovation to exchange research information, make valuable new contacts and ask one another if they had ever seen any celebrities naked.

Then the rest of us were let in on the deal, because scientists feel fulfilled only when they share their knowledge with the public. Also, manufacturers knew we would rush out and buy home computers. Lots and lots of computers, many with price tags that were originally intended to go on surface-to-air missiles.

Then somebody thought of selling extra “software” to go inside the computers, and Bill Gates began to giggle uncontrollably. He didn’t stop until just the other day.

These early home computers were far less powerful than today’s models, but proved valuable for basic word processing and covering spaghetti sauce stains on tablecloths.

The true revolution came when the average American woke up to the possibilities of the Internet. Suddenly anyone who was seeking information could find it in an unbelievably short amount of time. Unless they had dial-up service, in which case it was often quicker to drive to the library or just wait to meet an expert at a party.

And then e-mailing came into vogue, and the world changed forever. No longer did we have to communicate by telephone (in most American cities and towns), semaphore flags (Appanoose County) or pantomime (San Francisco).

Now we had the power to instantly formulate our thoughts, type them onto a screen and with the press of a button accidentally transmit them to the person referred to in the message as “that moron.”

The older generations still find it peculiar that so many people prefer typing and reading to talking on the telephone, because they still remember fondly the good old days of long chats and laughter. Press them on this, though, and usually it turns out that they’re recalling a scene on “The Donna Reed Show.”

As for me, it’s good to see the world come over to my side, choosing writing over talking. They say talk is cheap, but writing is how the world’s greatest thinkers traditionally have passed along, you know, their thoughts and stuff like that.

If only we had paused at e-mailing long enough to perfect it. Instead, we’ve moved on to texting, and that doesn’t feel like progress. Journalists find it hard to understand how people can content themselves with short, intentionally misspelled messages that are tapped out in haste and sent without a second thought. We were trained to put a lot of effort into rewriting, especially when reporters phoned in their stories late in the evening from the Office Lounge.

But I think we’ve wasted enough time complaining about wasted time.

Let’s see what Angelina is up to.