According to the co-chairmen of the deficit reduction commission, the federal government could save $13 billion by canceling a program to build a landing craft fleet for the U.S. Marine Corps. It is reported that Pentagon strategists and Defense Secretary Robert Gates don’t think we need it, probably because most of the really good islands for invading are currently offering terrific drink specials.

So this is one place to save, unless the powerful landing craft manufacturers lobby intervenes. It makes a citizen feel optimistic that we can find places to make some serious cuts in spending.

The commission’s leaders – former Republican Sen. Alan Simpson and former Democratic White House official Erskine Bowles – have offered lots of money-saving and revenue-generating ideas. For example, they also want to slice out all of the exemptions in the tax code, including the mortgage-interest deduction.

Whoa, guys; you had us on the landing craft, and then you lost us on the exemptions. This great nation was founded on the principle that no one should have to cough up too much cash, not as long as there’s some other sap who isn’t paying attention.

And then – yet another reminder not to provide hard liquor at deficit reduction commission meetings – they decided that the federal tax on gasoline, which has been 18.4 cents per gallon since the early 1990s, should be raised 15 cents beginning in 2013.

First we give up our 426-cubic-inch Hemis; now they want drivers to pay for highway maintenance. Why not just call it the commission to destroy everything that’s fun about America?

They also suggest cutting farm subsidies by $3 billion per year. Come on, do you have any idea what farmers go through to feed the world? You think it’s easy to listen to Rush Limbaugh in your tractor cab, day after day? America’s farmers frequently experience debilitating motion sickness just from nodding in agreement.

Anyway, the real reason we subsidize agriculture is that food production is the most essential act of civilization, next to returning DVD rentals promptly. If farming were allowed to struggle and decline, the government would have to step in and spend much more money to save it. Just like we had to save Chrysler when the public panicked about a looming shortage of PT Cruisers.

Also, these megaminds want to make adjustments to Social Security. For one thing, they want to start ratcheting up the retirement age, pushing it to 68 in 2050. But that’s looking awfully far into the future; by then, it will be up to our wisdom-filled leaders in Beijing.

The good news is that they recommend giving retirees the choice of collecting half of their benefits early. Either that, or they can choose whatever’s inside a medium-sized box wrapped in shiny paper.

Yes, I’m being sarcastic. Simpson and Bowles are right to take the large view – but it should be noted that the ideas on their list are generally considered too radical to consider.

We’ll probably have to take a more cautious approach to getting the budget under control. For example, the spirited new members of the U.S. House of Representatives have taken a principled stand against “earmarks,” which have been a reliable method for congressmen to steer money to their home districts and campaign contributors.

But even that simple step could be a struggle. Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell pointed out in a recent speech that “you could eliminate every congressional earmark, and you would save no money.” Then he wondered out loud if $3 million would be enough to restripe the parking lot at Churchill Downs.

At the very least, though, we need to keep our momentum going by cutting something. So let’s dump the landing craft program. If we really, really need to invade somewhere, I would imagine the U.S. Marines could get a pretty good group discount through Travelocity.