Now that Earth Day is over, and everybody is back to trashing up the place, maybe it’s a good time to pass along the real secret to saving the planet. Sorry for the delay; I’ve been struggling with a plan to produce electricity from partisan wrangling. The cable keeps popping out of Paul Ryan’s head..

Some of what we focus on seems sensible, like recycling plastic. Still, we’re making assumptions. The plastic we bury in landfills could be a valuable energy source 100 years from now.

“Darn those misguided environmentalists,” the nation’s energy czar will say. “If only they had buried more water bottles, we wouldn’t have to keep driving up to the asteroid belt to get hydrogen.”

Picking up junk that idiots have tossed onto sidewalks and into ditches, that’s fine. Recycling paper is OK, although I’m not sure why we’re so intent on creating unemployment in the paper manufacturing industry; paper is made from trees that are planted to produce paper, you know. If you like renewable resources, you should love the one-side-only printer setting.

If you want to conserve non-renewables, what’s with all the ceiling lights? Can’t you just sit near a window?

But let’s get serious. We’re facing the key to enormous energy savings whenever we stare at our computers. That same 2111 czar will wonder why, after we hooked up the entire nation with computer connectivity, we kept driving to work every day.

Energy experts say it’s office buildings, not homes, that are burning up fossil fuel faster than the most ambitious Somali pirates can hijack it. As for commuting, it would be hard to burn fuel in a more wasteful fashion, short of combining NASCAR hot laps with KC-135 Stratotanker crashes. Which would sell tickets, no question about it.

We drive alone to work, leaving a heated and cooled house behind, to sit in a big building that’s much harder to heat and cool. And what do we do there? Computer work that we could do at home. Then we drive home again. If I’m going to be part of a conspiracy to destroy the planet’s resources, I should at least get a polyester T-shirt.

Our solutions so far include buses, which get a good number of cars off the highway in the morning and evening, and then rumble around Des Moines nearly empty all day and into the night. It’s also possible to get downtown via train, but clinging to the ladder of a boxcar is tricky for anyone wearing high heels.

At this rate, one Earth Day per year just might not be enough to turn this energy problem around.

Millions of Americans telecommuting every day would make a difference. Some people would still have to drive to work; so far, you can’t install plumbing with a smartphone app. But long columns of vehicles would disappear from the highways, clearing the air and reducing the wear on the nation’s bridges, most of which now sway noticeably in a light breeze.

Saudi Arabia might suffer, but we would be doing those guys a favor by pushing them to diversify their economy. Sometimes you wonder if they’re even trying to find new uses for sand.

Office work wouldn’t change drastically. We already rely on email and texting. The NCAA basketball pool should still run smoothly.

Don’t worry, video meetings will be just as rewarding as the in-person versions, and more comfortable. For some inexplicable reason, people seem to think working in pajamas would be the ideal way to live. Well, focus the webcam tightly on your face, and you can wear whatever you want.

This could do some real damage to the pants industry. But that’s Sri Lanka’s problem.

Jim Pollock is the editor of the Des Moines Business Record. He can be reached by email at jimpollock@bpcdm.com