When the going gets tough, the tough start a bar tab. Or maybe they quit their job and pursue their childhood dream of not having a job. Or they might seek solace in philosophy, if we interpret “seek solace in” and “philosophy” as “watch” and “old sitcoms.”

But these are mere distractions. When it comes to taking arms against a sea of troubles, you have to admire the decisiveness of people like Elan Yadan. The Los Angeles store owner pondered the recent storm of miserable news – earthquakes, tsunami, nuclear power plant disaster, war in Libya – and decided the time for dawdling is over.

He plunked down $20,000 to secure a space in a vast facility under construction “beneath the grasslands of Nebraska,” according to CNNMoney.com. It’s a doomsday structure, designed to withstand nuclear warfare, and it also should hold up pretty well against terrorism, tornadoes and earthquakes.

In short, Yadan can check in and be safe from any horrifying disaster except the arrival of Cornhusker football fans just down the hall.

The $20,000 was originally intended to be a down payment on a house, but Yadan said, “What good is a house if you don’t feel safe?” Well, for one thing, a properly roofed house keeps rain out of the toaster as, day after day, Armageddon fails to occur.

It’s important to note, however, that Yadan is far from the only one who sees a future involving failed brakes and a brick wall. “U.S. companies selling doomsday bunkers are seeing sales skyrocket anywhere from 20 percent to 1,000 percent,” according to the report.

The Nebraska bunker is designed to house 950 people for a year and includes a wine cellar, pet kennels and that cornerstone of civilization, a detention center.

Maybe I’m missing something. Maybe someday Yadan will sit underground on a comfortable sofa, pretending he doesn’t hear me ringing the doorbell as fire rains from the sky. But if we expect the end of the world every time there’s a disaster, we’ll sacrifice the simple rewards of believing in tomorrow: Hope. Cherished traditions. Elaborate plots for revenge.

It can be hard to distinguish the end of the world from a streak of really bad luck. but if you always put your money on the latter, so far you would be well ahead. The Black Plague must have felt like the end of the world. World Wars I and II, likewise.

I’m told that we lived under the constant, gnawing dread of nuclear annihilation while I was growing up, although I was mainly worried about dropping fly balls and missing the title sequence of “I Spy.”

Apparently Yadan and his ilk – they’re like your ilk, except for a tendency to scream every time a door slams – were already freaked out by the theory that 2012 is when the world will come to an end. But do the various prophecies foretell the literal end of the world, or just a really unpleasant experience?

If on Dec. 21, 2012, Satan shows up at your house and refuses to stop playing the ukulele no matter how many times you glance at your watch, that would be annoying but survivable. But if the world is closing up shop forever, there’s no point in sitting quietly underground in Nebraska. You might as well live it up. On the final day of human existence, I definitely plan to have two desserts.

Instead, the doomsday crowd locks in on the worst, but apparently expects to continue on after the rest of us are gone. “I’d rather err on the side of caution,” Yadan told a reporter. “I’d rather survive and live in a bunker for a year than be wiped out.”

OK, that makes sense. But only if you expect to emerge into a habitable world. A place where natural beauty and human kindness remain. A place where the wealthy people who got vaporized left the keys in their Corvettes.

Jim Pollock is the editor of the Des Moines Business Record. He can be reached by email at jimpollock@bpcdm.com