Now I get it. At first, it seemed like an impossible task: How can a governor create 200,000 jobs?

Gov. Terry Branstad certainly can’t list that many openings on his own, unless he has a side deal with Subway that we don’t know about. I could see doubling the staff at Terrace Hill or Terrace Hills, whichever – one of these is the governor’s mansion, and the other is a golf course, which explains why Branstad receives so many special bonus offers from the Titleist people. But the state is generally trying to cut employees, not add.

It all makes sense now that the governor has placed a call to Caterpillar Inc. in Peoria, Ill. At first he played it cool, checking prices on a D8T bulldozer, asking about horsepower ratings and leopard-skin seat covers and so forth. Then, just as the conversation seemed to be drawing to a close, he said, oh, by the way, would you be interested in moving the entire Cat plant to Iowa?

He didn’t get a definite “yes,” but you know how this sort of deal-making goes. Caterpillar has to play hard to get for a while, then eventually we offer a tax credit for yellow paint. We always offer a tax credit. Say something nice about our state on your Facebook page and, that’s right, tax credit.

The important thing is, the governor does have a plan.

We’re going to create jobs here by uncreating them somewhere else. It’s a win-win situation, because we get the companies, and Illinois or some other sap of a state frees up some parking spaces. There’s an economic term for this type of transaction, but I can’t think of it right now. The classic example has something to do with a bank and a ski mask.

Unfortunately, Branstad isn’t the only governor who has vowed to make jobs appear. Times being hard, it has turned into a state-eat-state situation, where Midwestern governors wake up every morning thinking about new TV ad campaigns and wishing it weren’t so hard to rhyme “Illinois” with “gloomy future.”

It was easier before the recession, when the toughest thing about being a governor was signing bills into law with, like, 25 pens. Try it sometime. It messes up the smooth flow of your cursive writing, and eventually historians say, “Wait a minute; when was Tenng Bramslab elected governor of Iowa?”

Now it’s a fishing derby, and Illinois is a pond full of bass. After Caterpillar expressed irritation about the direction of Illinois state income taxes (up), the governor of Nebraska called, and so did Texas and South Dakota. Wisconsin made a pitch to lure Illinois companies of all sorts and then clamped down on costs by making it illegal for labor unions to negotiate health-care coverage or mess with the thermostat.

It’s about time that Iowa became more assertive. For too long, we have been cautious while other states landed professional sports teams, major military bases and so forth. Nebraska has the Strategic Air Command. Minnesota has the Mall of America. There are even two big cities in Missouri, a state where “cosmopolitan” is just a magazine they keep behind the counter at Dub’s Grocery Store.

On the other hand, Illinois offers proof that having one huge city isn’t necessarily the key to happiness. Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn had a plan for creating jobs, too. The Put Illinois to Work program burned through $215 million in federal funding, and then Quinn spent $122 million in state money, by one report.

He let the program expire after creating, according to the Chicago Tribune, 26,000 temporary positions. That’s it?

You would think an Illinois politician would understand the concept of stealing jobs.

Jim Pollock is the editor of the Des Moines Business Record. He can be reached by email at jimpollock@bpcdm.com