Leaders can be nice and tackle tough issues

I was once part of a performance conversation where a highly talented professional was being considered for a promotion. While discussing this individual, one of the senior leaders commented, “I’m not sure they will be effective; they seem too nice.”

Probing this a bit, I found the real concern was this individual would not tackle the tough decisions they would face in this role. No evidence existed to support this conclusion; it was just an assumed limitation of their personality.

In the end, we put the individual in the role and they excelled. They made tough calls, they tackled difficult issues, and guess what — they were still nice.

Be careful not to assume that because individuals are nice they cannot, or will not, take on tough issues. One is a behavior and the other is an attribute. They are not mutually exclusive.

Leaders can be nice and ensure accountability

Many times, being nice is confused with being a pushover. We all want to be liked; it’s human nature, and leaders are no exception. However, if a leader’s goal is to be liked, they may be branded a pushover and this may compromise their respect and perceived effectiveness. It is important not to confuse the desire to be liked with the desire to be nice.

People want to work for nice leaders. The ones that care about their employees want to see them be successful and treat them kindly. Effective leaders know how to set clear expectations, establish boundaries and ensure accountability. They realize that this earns them respect and generates results and they don’t have to compromise their nice personality to achieve it.

Leaders can be nice and work through conflict

Another misperception is that nice leaders don’t like conflict. Well, who does? Not liking conflict is different than not dealing effectively with it. Part of a leader’s role is working through conflict. Some of the nicest people I have worked with are the most effective at building rapport, finding middle ground, being objective and listening. These are critical skills in conflict resolution.

Conflict is inevitable and will happen whether you are a nice leader or a jerk. Effective leaders handle dissenting opinions in a productive way, while still being nice.

Nice leaders finish first

Bottom line, it is possible to be a nice person and be an effective leader. Leaders who take on challenging issues, ensure accountability and work through conflict while being nice … well, they are your shining stars!