By Kelly Eagle | Account manager, Shift Interactive

Being called selfish often comes with a negative connotation, but being selfish with your own time is not a negative — and don’t let others tell you it is. 

Our days are filled with dozens of opportunities to either say yes or no. There are so many causes and people who request our energy and our focus. With all of this swirling around us, sucking us in, it doesn’t take long before we are exhausted mentally, emotionally, physically, and often creatively.  

As women, we innately want to give of our time and talents, and help out friends and colleagues. But do you ever stop and think what you’re getting out of it? I don’t literally mean money or even recognition, but do these extras fill your proverbial bucket?  

Each time you’re presented with an opportunity to give of your time and talents, pause. Take a second to consider if the cause, the goals, and even the people you’d be spending time with, and ask yourself if it is something you would enjoy.  

Does it mesh with your personal feelings on a specific cause? 

Does it give something back to a community or group you feel strongly about? If the answer is yes, then consider it. If the answer is no, say no (politely, of course). 

There is no fault in saying, “I’d love to help you with that, but I have too many things on my plate right now.” The more you say yes to things that don’t bring you joy, the less joyful you will be.  

Now, this part is important — and something I work on regularly: It’s even OK if the reason you say “no thanks” to a committee or evening meeting is to just sit quietly with a book (and glass of wine) or enjoy dinner with a friend or your spouse. Don’t feel guilty. If you’re not taking care of you, you won’t be at your best in the places you actually want to be. 

There are only so many hours in the day, and only so much time on this earth. If you focus your efforts on activities that fill your bucket, you’ll quickly find these extras only energize you and add a drive to do more that will spill into everything else.  

Kelly Eagle is an account manager at Shift Interactive in West Des Moines. She’s a graduate of Iowa State University and lives in Waukee with her husband and two daughters. She serves on the Grand Cru for Winefest. Contact Kelly via email.