Guest Opinion: #MeToo, mentorship and the workplace

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By Kate Juelfs | Director of service, Foster Group

Sheryl Sandberg, through Leanin.org and SurveyMonkey, recently shared findings from a survey aimed at understanding the impact of #metoo in the workplace, particularly as it relates to gender and mentorship. The results were disappointing and, at the same time, a call to action for all of us to focus on any barriers or gender issues at work. To borrow from Sandberg’s language, it’s a great opportunity for us to “lean in” on this issue in our workplace and help figure out how we can evolve practices and purviews.

In the survey two statistics stood out to me:

1) “Almost half of male managers are uncomfortable participating in a common work activity with a woman, such as mentoring, working alone, or socializing together.”

2) “Almost 30 percent of male managers are uncomfortable working alone with a woman, more than twice as many as before.”

The call to action in the results starts with a simple frame: Understand that both those being mentored and mentors are probably thinking about risk. When I talk with those in the workplace who desire to be mentored, I often simply hear: “I want to be mentored, but I don’t know what to ask.” For mentors, I think concerns are usually straightforward: “What, exactly, do you want from me?”

In this example, we’ll use the term mentee to describe those being mentored. For mentees, when the ideas of mentoring, working alone and socializing become uncomfortable, risk and uncertainty quickly add up to bigger questions: “Should I ask for help? What do I need? What do I want? Do you want to help?” Assessing the situation is equally complicated for mentors: “I don’t know you very well. I’m not sure what you want. I have questions about your intent.” Anytime risk is present in communication and there isn’t clarity of intent, actions and behaviors can be impacted.

However, we can change the equation and be a positive force for #MentorHer in the workplace. Beginning with the end in mind, both mentee and mentor need to think about how their respective equations could end. For mentees, managing the feeling of risk can be offset by focusing on clarity of purpose: “I’m hesitant to ask for more time from you, but I want my knowledge in X to be as deep as yours. Therefore, I’d like to meet with you on an ongoing basis to learn more about X.” For mentors, real progress can be made just by clarifying the other person’s intent: “I understand what you’re asking. I think I can help. How would you like to get started?”

If Sandberg’s survey is accurate, then clarity, confidence in purpose, and the ability to state intent are major factors that should help us manage cross-gender mentorships.

As women who lead, manage and mentor in the workplace, our encouragement for others to embrace cross-gender mentorship is important. The #MeToo movement has been transformational in our culture and communities, and we must keep communication levels high if we want this change to be sustained. While this seems daunting, the reward of witnessing powerful cultural change and helping navigate the impact on workplace cultures is well worth the effort.

In her role as directorof service, Kate Juelfs works closely with the teams that handle much of the service and execution at Foster Group. She is passionate about developing a high-engagement culture by fostering effective communication.