Guest opinion: The five lessons my mentees have taught me
By Cindy Hughes Anliker | Associate director, marketing and communications, UnitedHealthcare Community Plan of Iowa
I have been a mentor for most of my life. It started when I became a big sister. As the first of three daughters, my parents gave me a lot of responsibility. They constantly reminded me to “lead by example” because I was the oldest. I liked being in charge and teaching my sisters Becky and Amy life lessons, although they taught me a lot as well.
Through the years, I mentored people through my schooling, volunteerism and career. Additionally, many incredible leaders mentored me and taught me memorable lessons in how to be an inspiring leader, person and professional. I am constantly reminded of what an incredible gift it is to be a mentor because my mentees have taught me and continue to teach me so many valuable leadership lessons.
There are five lessons in particular.
1)Their time is just as important as yours. Mentors have busy schedules and multiple priorities, and so do mentees. Honor the time you have with a mentee and treat it like it is the most important meeting of the week.
2)Match your words with your actions. Your wise words will have greater impact and significance when you actually “do” as you “say to do.”
3)“Aha” moments happen, especially when you least expect it. I feel like my mentees are my mirrors and have taught me a lot about self-reflection. When I have counseled them, I have discovered opportunities where I can improve my leadership or have found an answer that I was looking for was right in front of me. A lot of times, my mentees have shared a perspective I did not consider, helping me make more thoughtful decisions.
4)The mentee might not take your advice, and that’s OK. Even though mentors are in a position of authority, we are not always right about everything or understand the full situation our mentees are experiencing. A mentee may respect your advice, but may not take it because they choose another path to follow.
5)Appreciate the experience. Listen and show gratitude. Mentees are expected to listen to their mentors and show gratitude for the opportunity. The same rules apply to us as well. We must listen and show gratitude to our mentees. Thanking mentees is just as important as thanking mentors.
Too often, we focus on what mentors teach our mentees. While this is very important, our mentees teach us, too. The best outcome of a mentor/mentee relationship is when we learn from each other’s lessons and be open to these experiences.
Cindy Hughes Anliker, a Business Record 2014 Forty Under 40 honoree, still tells her sisters “what to do,” but they would say it is the other way around. She loves to mentor and make connections with others to help build on their success. Currently an associate director, marketing and communications for UnitedHealthcare Community Plan of Iowa, she has spent most of her career in health-related marketing communications. She earned her Master of Science in Organizational Performance at Drake University in Des Moines, and a Bachelor of Arts in Communication Studies at the University of North Carolina-Wilmington. She lives in West Des Moines with her husband, Clark Anliker, and their two dogs, Lex and Mickey.
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