How can Iowa, a state with this much snow and ice, not have a single athlete on the U.S. Winter Olympics team? 

Team members hail from 31 states, our friends at the U.S. Census Bureau report. Iowa is not one of those states. There were 244 slots on the team to claim, yet Iowa still flopped like a missed triple toe loop. 

So our Winter Olympics score of zero athletes leaves us off the medal stand. But that isn’t the end of the humiliation. Some of our Midwestern neighbors — you know, the ones with Norwegians, not Iowegians — are home to some of this year’s Olympians.

For example, North Dakota has two athletes on the team, we presume because fracking has become an Olympic sport. Wisconsin landed 10 on the team — and yes, curlers were among them. Illinois has 11, but it was unclear how many are politicians sprinting for office, on cross-country skis.

And Minnesota, where waiting for a Super Bowl ring is a sport more dominant than any other, has 20 athletes on the team, highest in the Midwest. 

Colorado, which is used to being high in the mountains, leads the nation with 31 sons and daughters wearing the red, white and blue.