“Help, I need an answer.” “Help, I need information on my order.” “Help, I need service.” “Help, I have a question.” “Help, I want to place an order.” “Help, something’s wrong or broken.” “Help, I need to speak to someone.” “Help! Help! Help!”

Customers call for one reason; they want help.

Do we give them help? No. What do we give them? Well, we almost give them help; We give them hell. They want help, but we give hell.

“Our policy says …” “She’s not here today.” “I’m doing the best I can.” “There’s a lot of other people in front of you.” “There’s a lot of other people with the same …” “I’m either on my phone or away from my desk.”

Any computer that answers the phone, anyone placing you on hold for more than a minute without a value message, anyone unfriendly, anyone passing the buck, anyone giving an excuse, anyone arguing is giving hell to the customer.

What are you giving?

How about taking a new perspective on an old subject? Isn’t it really called “customer helping” rather than “customer service”? Wouldn’t you deliver better service if you thought of it that way?

What else do you think your customers would like? Here’s a short list of 9.5 desires and expectations of customers to help:

1. They want value. They want to know the price is fair and the purchase will be supported throughout their ownership, and they want to understand how they will profit from the use of the product or service.

2. They want excellent communication, to know what they need to know when they need to know it, with no surprises nor misunderstandings.

3. They expect your attitude to be positive (even if theirs isn’t).

4. They expect reliability and consistency, for you to be there when you’re needed.

5. They look for tangibility of message – “quality of product and performance, combined with a professional image.”

6. They want assurance and often need reassurance. Deliver when you promised, have total product knowledge, be there when they need you.

7. They expect empathy when something goes wrong.

8. They expect exceptional service as the norm. They will use your service as a benchmark when it comes to placing a reorder.

9. They are hoping for a friendly interaction.

9.5. They want it now. No one wants to “press one, press two,” no one wants to be placed on hold, no one wants a back-order, no one wants a delay and no one wants it to be out of stock.

Let’s define your customer: overbearing, demanding, cheap, past due, wolf-crying, disloyal, lying – oh, and one more thing, paycheck.

The customer provides all of your money.

The president, CEO or owner of your company does not pay you, but is just a conduit for funds. The customer pays you. The boss just writes the checks for money put in the bank by customers. It’s not your boss you need to be afraid to make angry, it’s your customer.

When your company’s cash flow can’t make payroll, the CEO doesn’t run home and break the piggybank to meet the obligation, but rather screams: “Collect more money! Make more sales!”

Get real. Your kids eat because customers buy. Want a new telephone greeting? “Hello, ABC Manufacturing, thanks for the food!”

Here’s a way to ensure you understand who the customer is. Every time a customer stops doing business with your company, the net result from the loss of revenue is: Your kids eat less.

To combat this, go home tonight and take a picture of your children eating as you sit around the dinner table. Make duplicate copies of the picture and post them on the dashboard of your car, your telephone and your computer screen. If you don’t have any children, go to your parents’ house and let them take a picture of you eating. Same thing.

Free GitBit: I have developed a formula for gaining customers and I’d love to get it to you free. Just go to www.gitomer.com, register if you’re a first-time user, and enter LOYAL in the GitBit box.

President of Charlotte, N.C.-based Buy Gitomer, Jeffrey Gitomer gives seminars, runs annual sales meetings, and conducts training programs on selling and customer service. He can be reached at (704) 333-1112 or by e-mail at salesman@gitomer.com.