Everyone in management will tell every salesperson, “As soon as you make the sale, ask for a referral.”

This strategy is not only wrong; it also jeopardizes the future of the relationship.

REALITY: Asking for referrals makes EVERYONE feel awkward. And usually results in a turndown or a delay.

A referral is the second-strongest lead in sales. The first is an unsolicited one.

MAJOR CLUE: Referrals are not asked for – referrals are EARNED.

Give to get.

There are all kinds of names applied to the process of “giving” a referral to a customer. Pay it forward. Netweaving. BUT the salesperson will forever live in darkness if he or she expects something in return.

Which brings me to this PRIME example of what not to do. I got this email today:

Hey, Jeff, I can’t seem to ever get any referrals! I go back to the customer after the sale, I give them an appreciation gift and ask them for some people, and they say they don’t know anybody or don’t think anybody else can afford it! What to do?

The guy didn’t even sign the email. That’s a good start to not getting referrals.

This guy thinks because he’s bringing candy, he deserves a referral. He will NEVER get referrals that way – AND NEITHER WILL YOU.

What is the business logic behind his actions? What’s yours? Asking for referrals is not only a poor practice; it’s rude and embarrassing as well.

I will admit my strategy is harder to perform. GOOD. That way, the lazy salespeople will not be in competition. And you may actually get some referrals by asking for them. Five referrals out of a hundred tries. BUT the other 95 people will avoid you forever. Not good.

Ask yourself:

• What have I earned so far?

• Have I done anything besides make a sale?

• On a scale of 1-10, how strong is this relationship?

• If I asked for a referral right now, would it be or feel awkward?

• Why would this customer give me a referral?

Then ask yourself:

• What can I do that will get me from where I am to where I want to be?

• Do I have a real referral game plan?

• What are the value actions I need to be (consistently) taking to begin earning referrals?

Here are the TOP 6.5 referral EARNING strategies:

1. Deliver memorable service. It’s simple. Be friendly and helpful, and give positive responses.

2. Be available. Make it easy to do business with you or anyone else in your company 24/7/365.

3. Be a consistent value provider. Create an email magazine and blog with content that helps customers, and a business Facebook page where you post positive and helpful information and good news, and allow for customer interactions.

4. Give a referral to the customer.

5. Get them one LinkedIn contact they can benefit from. See if any of your connections could be of value to your customers, and make connections.

6. Develop the relationship slowly over time. Create your long-term value plan and execute it consistently. Always post a “thank you” for referred business.

6.5. DON’T ASK FOR A REFERRAL IF YOU HAVEN’T EARNED ONE.

There’s an underlying powerful message here. It’s about having a philosophy of giving, without the expectation of getting anything in return. This philosophy will give you a lifetime of fulfillment without regret, remorse or resentment.

Always give to give. Don’t give to get.

Jeffrey Gitomer can be reached by phone at (704) 333-1112 or by email at salesman@gitomer.com. © 2011 Jeffrey H. Gitomer