Hanging on the wall in Des Moines attorney Sharon Malheiro’s office is a colorful poster that tells all who enter her views on diversity. The words of anthropologist, ethnobotanist, author and photographer Wade Davis – “The world in which you were born is just one model of reality. Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you; they are unique manifestations of the human spirit.” – closely parallel her after-hours activism. As president of the LGBT Community Center, she has become a key spokesperson on issues important to the estimated 10 percent of Central Iowans who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. Working in a supportive and inclusive environment at the Davis Brown Koehn Shors & Roberts law firm and in a longtime monogamous relationship, Malheiro feels fortunate, but at the same time obligated to speak for those who still fear reprisal for being open about their sexuality. Here’s what she had to say in a recent interview for Executive Life:

How long have you been open about your sexuality?

Sixteen years. It was scary – you are who you are, but it was a long time coming to terms with it and wanting to be what everybody wants you to be. But coming to terms with it and figuring out what it was liberating, too. All of a sudden, I had permission to be different.

Has it hindered your career?

I don’t know the people who don’t call me. I’m sure there are people who don’t want to call me, or wouldn’t hire me as their lawyer. Some people may see me as more accepting. A lot of my gay and lesbian clients know I am not going to judge them. They can be very open to me in what they need.

Corporate America gets it a lot better than government. Companies have [prohibitions against discrimination based on sexual orientation] listed in their policies and they’ve included domestic partner benefits in the insurance packages. They want that diverse workforce. Most companies don’t discriminate, but the state law still does.

What specific public policy issues do LGBT individuals want legislators to address?

No. 1, the safe schools issue. It hurt us in more than one way. It’s not just gay and lesbian students or students perceived to be who are being beat up and abused. A lot of gay and lesbian couples are hearing their children are being teased and taunted because they have two moms or two dads. They may grow up to be heterosexual children, but are being abused because of who their families are. Some folks are moving from Iowa to a state where they feel their children might be safer.

The safe school legislation is part of it. Some people say it doesn’t have a lot to it, and it may be hard to enforce, but it sends a message. It provides for training in schools so teachers know what’s inappropriate, whether it’s using phrases like “that’s so gay” or even a coach who calls his players sissies to motivate them.

Anti-bullying legislation sends a message from the top down that this kind of behavior isn’t going to be accepted. When you don’t have it in the legislation, it’s almost permission to segregate people and treat them differently based on their sexual orientation.

Anti-bullying legislation would provide some measure of protection for children. What about adults?

We want to live our lives openly. We don’t want to live in fear of losing our jobs and our homes, and being expected to leave public accommodations. In [a city without a human rights ordinance, as Des Moines and a handful of other Iowa cities do], we could probably be refused service. In Iowa, you can be fired for being gay, except in cities with ordinances. Similarly, you can be refused if you want to rent an apartment, and if they do find out you are gay, they can kick you out.

People have gotten better at hiding discrimination, but we don’t know how many people don’t get a job. I can be outspoken. I am fortunate, so I have an obligation to speak out because there are a lot of people who can’t.

There are people who say, “I’ll write a check, but don’t ask me to be on a board or be at a rally because I don’t know that I want to be identified.”

I know a couple of women who were at a local restaurant sitting close to each other, maybe holding hands – no more so than a heterosexual couple – and two men as they were leaving stopped at their table and said they thought it was disgusting and inappropriate.

What you’re saying then is that the Iowa Civil Rights Act needs to be amended to extend constitutional protections based on sexual orientation?

Yes, in Iowa and nationally.

What about the same-sex marriage issues that have been so much in the national spotlight recently?

We want the ability to take care of our families. We don’t have freedom of travel. My partner and I could get married in Massachusetts and while living there could have the [1,052] rights and privileges of one who is married. In Florida, the rights and privileges would go away. Moreover, we could adopt a child in Massachusetts and Florida could dissolve that adoption.

It’s all very personal. I don’t know how it impacts other people, but it does impact gay and lesbian couples. When we do estate planning for gay and lesbian couples, we tell them if one of them gets sick in the older years and has to be on Medicare, maybe they don’t want to own property jointly because they can’t get that marital benefit on the spend-out, but if they were a heterosexual couple, they could keep the house under that marital exemption.

A surviving partner won’t get that deceased partner’s Social Security benefit. And if they didn’t adopt them, neither would the children.

What needs to happen outside of the public policy arena for this to become a more inclusive society?

I was on a panel with [Iowa/Nebraska State Conference of NAACP Branches President] Rev. Keith Ratliff for the 40th anniversary celebration of the Iowa Civil Rights Act, and what he said was, you need to look at home with respect to race issues – and my issues, too. If you teach hate at home …

I have heard other people talk about Iowa as a state that tends to have some discriminatory ideology, but Iowans as people do not. It’s different when you meet people one on one, as opposed to in a group. I don’t know how many people I meet who profess anti-gay sentiments, and then say they have gay and lesbian friends. I want to say, “No, you don’t. You are not being a good friend to them.”

Donna Red Wing, who taught me to be an activist, said that if you meet people one on one, you can change them because it’s hard to hate someone you know. But there just isn’t time to go meet everyone.