I’ve had one of those weeks. The airline lost my luggage (and it stayed lost for four days); my credit card got compromised, and right in the middle of a crazy travel schedule and the holidays it had to be canceled and reissued; and an indicator light on my car mysteriously went on for a while, then off and then back on.

In every case, I was dependent on someone else to solve my problem for me. I’ve been a very regular customer at all three of these companies (airlines, credit card and auto dealership), and normally I don’t run into these sorts of problems with them.

However, having to deal with all three within three days meant I was down to my last nerve. But no worries – these were my three go-to companies. I could count on them. Right?

Eventually, they all got things straightened out, and I was back on the road with my luggage and credit card in tow. But my experiences with each reminded me of a very important lesson for us all.

In the end, what we want most is for someone to care. Truth be told, we don’t just want them to care; we want them to care as much as we do. If we’re offered sincere empathy, we will tolerate a mistake and be much more patient as the company attempts to fix things.

When you have a disgruntled, frustrated, angry or wronged customer on your hands, here are three mistakes to avoid and one must-do action:

Passing them around: There are few things more reassuring to a customer than to hear someone say: “My name is Matt, and I promise that I’ll take care of this for you. Here’s how you can reach me if you have questions while I am sorting things out.” 

Unfortunately, that’s usually not how it goes. Normally, it’s a mix of phone call forwarding, email copying and buck passing. Customers get bounced from person to person, having to retell the story and feeling more like a nuisance than someone you value.

Silence: I can’t stress this enough. Think about how often you should communicate throughout the problem-solving phase and then double it. Even if it’s simply to say “Here’s what I did today to move us closer to a solution.” 

Many of us believe we should wait until we have something new to report before reaching out again. But the story that gets told in the customer’s head is that you’ve forgotten about them.

The blame game: In most cases, customers don’t care who is at fault. What they care about is getting it fixed. When departments or employees start finger pointing, the actual goal gets lost in the shuffle.

There will be plenty of time for you and your team to figure out what went wrong. But that shouldn’t be done in front of the client, and it shouldn’t be your focus until you’ve put a smile back on your customer’s face.

Say the words “I’m sorry” out loud: There is no substitute for this. Those words, spoken with genuine feeling and good eye contact, can calm the most frenzied of customers. In the end, they need to know that you actually do care. If you care, you’ll help.

It’s not about accepting blame or assuming responsibility. It is about being in tune with someone else’s feelings and being empathetic enough to say so. That’s the start of making it better.